San Francisco, California

This has been the perfect beginning bookend to my Bali expedition. I was so focused on preparing for this trip; from all the work that needed to be done like covering my classes and planning a month abroad to mentally gearing up for all the work that would be waiting for me when I returned. This trip is for myself and my heart but I am also here to study something that I will be expected to teach when I come back in December. My work has been flourishing and this trip will be a big part of that but I needed to be reminded that this is also just a trip.

With a car rented we sprinted on our wheels to the mountains past the city, first to Agate Beach, winding through Redwoods to get there and winding along ocean cliffs while the Pacific sunset danced for us on the way back. Then a hike down to Baker’s Beach yesterday to frolic naked and free ourselves of anything left weighing on our hearts.

The air here is warm and soft and the sunlight kisses my skin.

I’m remembering: as much as I am here to study and learn for my job, I am also here to self study.

an excerpt from my personal journal, as the plane took off from Newark, NJ :

“gratitude. i’m feeling deep, full bodied gratitude in this moment, for this moment.

i’m on the verge of tears and it’s the best feeling. i’m on a plane headed west for a month of adventure. i’m crying because i’m so proud of myself. for dreaming this trip and manifesting the fuck out of it. i’m crying because i have the best job in the world and i can’t believe i get to call my passion work. i’m crying because i’m in love and more so than what i’m feeling, i can feel what he is feeling for me. his love follows me wherever i go, wraps itself around me and cradles me so i can spend my days feeling light and airy.

i’m crying because through all the shit, the thick, muddy shit that seemed to go on for miles, i am here. on a plane headed to a new country to follow my passion and my work and my heart–and i’m so in love and supported and cared for and i feel strong and worthy of it all.

i’ve cried so hard and heard those screams echoing off the walls of the abyss but finally i’m here, crying tears of joy. they don’t burn. they feel like cool raindrops refreshing me from what seemed like an unbearable heat.”

with gratitude,

sarah